How to Build Relationships with Students
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“One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.”
In today's post, we're going to be talking exactly about what Carl Jung was referring to, and that is building student relationships in our classrooms. This is such a vital piece to the whole puzzle of classroom management. Relationships are truly the trust factor, that not only leads to engagement and but also help you address challenging behaviors more effectively. In this post, I’m sharing different tips and strategies in how to build your student relationships in your classroom that will help set the stage for learning all year long.
1. Pay Attention to Your Students
When we pay attention to our students, we’re saying, “I see you, I hear you, and you matter.” Active listening is at the core of this.
As teachers, we constantly remind our students to be active listeners. But let’s be honest—how often do we model that same level of attentiveness for them? Life in the classroom is hectic, and it’s easy to nod along to a student’s story while mentally juggling the 20 other things you need to do. I’ve been guilty of it, and I bet you have too!
Instead, try this:
Teach boundaries for sharing: If a student wants to share something and it’s not the right time, let them know when you’ll be able to listen. For example, “I’d love to hear about that during recess!”
Be fully present: When you are listening, give them your full attention and genuine interest. This not only shows students that you care about what they have to say, but you also get to know them better.
Active listening goes beyond one-on-one conversations with our students. It’s also about observing peer interactions and understanding the dynamics of their conversations. This awareness helps you meet your students where they are and give them what they need to thrive. Listening carefully allows you to pick up on three important things:
Interests: Knowing what excites your students helps you plan lessons and engagement strategies.
Personal struggles: You’ll gain insight into what they might be facing at home or socially.
Areas for growth: Whether it’s confidence, social skills, or academic challenges, you’ll know where they need your support.
2. Make Time for Personal Connections
As you know, some kiddos will eagerly come up to you, ready to chat about anything and everything going on in their lives—sometimes sharing more than you expect, especially with the littles, right?! But while some students that love to share, others will not. That’s why it’s so important to find intentional moments to connect with all students and learn more about them. Find times that work best for you start up simple, non-academic conversations at times such as recess, in line, or during downtime.
Occasionally, you will also want to flip the script by letting students see a glimpse into your world, too. Sharing small details about your life—like your favorite hobbies, pets, or weekend plans—helps them see you as a person, not just their teacher. It builds mutual respect and makes connections feel genuine.
3. Believe in Every Student
This tip I’m about to share, in my opinion, is probably the most impactful and it all starts with your mindset. And what I love about mindsets and mindset shifts is that it's something that you have complete control over. Now, I know a lot of times it's easier said than done because keeping a positive mindset or shifting your mindset can be challenging at times, but the impacts that it has on not only ourselves, but also on the others around us is huge!
Here it is: Think positively about every student in your classroom every single day. Every student in your classroom should feel that you believe in them regardless as to what's going on in their lives, where they are academically or how challenging their behaviors might be. Regardless, they should always feel like you are in their corner.
When you approach each day with a positive outlook toward your students, it impacts two key areas:
Your approach: When you have a positive mindset towards your students and you believe in them, you then approach any of the challenges that you might face with a positive outlook and you're always going to be open to solutions and as a result make gains in the right direction.
Your students’ perception: Your attitude has a vibe. If you’re excited to see your students, they’ll feel it and respond. On the flip side, if frustration or negativity sneaks into your tone or actions, they’ll pick up on that, too.
This doesn’t mean everything will be smooth sailing. But when students know you’re in their corner, they’re more likely to rise to the occasion and you're only setting yourself and them up for success. And, you know, let's face it, the kids deserve it because in reality, you could potentially be like the only person in their corner.
Alright friends, that’s a wrap on how to build positive relationships in your classroom! Let’s recap:
Pay attention to your students: Be an active listener and learn about their interests, struggles, and needs.
Make time for personal connections: Create opportunities for meaningful conversations and let them see the non-teacher side of you.
Believe in every student: Approach each day with positivity and let your students feel your belief in their potential.
Before we go, remember relationships matter. They’re not just a “nice-to-have” in the classroom. It’s those connections that build trust, spark student engagement, and help create a classroom environment where kids feel safe and ready to learn!
Want to learn more about what other pieces fit into the classroom management puzzle? Build your teaching toolkit with this FREE Classroom Management Framework Guide. It's your go-to resource for understanding the different systems that contribute to a successful and organized classroom, and a happier you!